Stress and my brain.

It's been a long month. Why. I dunno. Stress i guess. Stress does funny things to me. It makes my heart go all wonky. It makes me snap at my kids and give my husband the hairy eyeball. It also inspires me and gets my creativity going. Yesterday I started writing another book. By accident. Um, yeah, I just sat down and before I realized it, I had a first chapter.  I dont know what it is yet. It's going to evolve.

We talk about houses. It seems to be our favorite topic to argue about lately.  He's home for a week and that length of time is hard. I'm not used to having him around that much. And he whines. And he makes messes he never cleans up. I breath deeply and hold my tongue most of the time. Its hard, its takes everything in me to refrain from what I want to say.  I remind myself that its not worth the aggravation.  I think that builds up behind the default stress. I stay optimistic and try to make him feel the same. Doesnt work.

I have finals in 2 weeks. I know alot. But  always feel like its not enough.  I may get two B's and its eating away at my confidence. I hate B's, I loathe B's.  They are like first runner up. First loser. It's depressing. I know I'm being unreasonable. I blame it on my Obsessive/Compulsive disorder.

I'm ok. I'll suffer through.  Not the end of the world. Its actually a very good time to write.....so I guess that's what I'll do.