My insides are BROKEN. Step 1 ........

Hi. My name is Michelle and I am a gastric bypass patient. Along with this surgery, I have had a grand total of 13 invasive surgeries on my guts. It's a mess in there. I've abused this body to its breaking point and now, I'm paying for it. 

So, I'm going to run another experiment on myself. I'm a sciencey-type so this is a way of trying to sort out what exactly is causing my problems. Last summer I did something similar, cut out all gluten, dairy, caffeine, and sugar. The first week was murder but something wondrous happened after that, I felt GREAT. The thing that de-railed me? A 2 week trip to NYC on vacation.....because...well, FOOD everywhere and sooooo good. And vacation. You understand.

Once back home I just couldn't get back on that wagon. It wasn't for lack of trying. I don't know, it wasn't the same. So, I continued to eat a 'normal' diet and workout. In Oct. 2013 I ran the Spartan Super at Wintergreen. It was an ordeal, but that's another story. This story starts there. Post-race my gastro wasn't the same. I can't put my finger on it. But I've been suffering since then with pain, internal and external. I had my vitamin levels checked a month ago and I'm anemic ( which I knew ) and so I just beefed up my vitamins. Finally, in desperation, I made an appointment with a bariatric doc. Not my original, because he has long retired. Feels funny running back to these people, I don't even know if they will be able to help me. 

I'm a researcher. And just plain curious. Cancer, diverticulitis, IBS, Crohn's, etc. People who are diagnosed with these diseases will try anything for relief. How do you heal the inside? How do you bolster your immune system? What do your cells crave? Your intestinal tract works HARD, that's a huge expenditure of energy, which taxes the whole system. What if we give that system a break? Allow it to expel the harmful toxins like refined sugar and caffeine completely and focus on what it is supposed to be doing, sucking in those micronutrients. I'm at the point where I feel compelled to give it a try.

Today I bought a very expensive juicer. I bought organic produce. Starting tomorrow morning I will begin a 10 day juice fast. No solids. It will consist of 5 or 6 drinks per day ( up to 20 oz a piece) and lots of water in between. The mixtures will depend on what I have a taste for but will remain 80% vegetable and 20% fruit. I will take 1000 mg Vitamin D along with it. 

This morning I weighed 142 lbs. I feel bloated and sluggish. I crave 'sweet' and 'salt'. I am sad that there will be no coffee tomorrow. I expect to feel very bad for a few days but am hopeful that by day 4-5 I will be better. I will try to log all of my mixtures and daily status here because I just don't want to clog up Facebook. Some people don't really give a shit what you're eating. LOL.

Day 3. The first week of any change is always the hardest. I have re-framed what will be "acceptable" because the other plan was going to be a big, fat failure. Finding foods that are within the "limits" ( no wheat gluten and no dairy in any form) are pretty much the guns I'm sticking to for now. I added back my one cup of coffee in the morning ( oh my jesus I HAD to) and whereas having absolutely NO sugar or salt for the rest of my life sounds great in theory, it just won't work. Sooooo, I'm doing what I gotta do. I know that my biggest problems are my addiction to wheat and the terrible intolerance I have for lactose....and by cutting off those chickens heads, eventually the animal dies and I no longer crave. Yay me. It's not quitting that is the bitch, it's the staying quitted. Hehe, the daily 'seeing' and 'coveting' and 'ohmygawdthatlooksahmayzing'. Emotional shit too cause I will eat a feeling in a nanosecond fee sure. Here's my eating for the day.

7:30 am - Tall blonde soy mist with 2 splenda ( on the way to get my son)
8:40 am - Creamy brown rice farina with almonds and raisins (new food....tasted like ass)
Noon - Broiled squash, eggplant, peppers in grape seed oil and herbs with 2 oz chicken
2:00 pm - A few cold broiled veg
5:00 pm - Mexican. ( small amount of polenta, beans, homemade salsa and kale/lettuce)

I also experimented with brownies today. Made 2 batches of black bean brownies. Not bad. Had one. And just now 7:02 ate 1/4 cup raisins.

I'm not counting calories anymore. I inherently know how much each thing is worth. I'm looking to feel better, not drop weight. I might have another brownie later. lol.

Day 1. And I've already backslid on the high ideal that I wanted to uphold. I really need to relax a little. But I know ME. Give a mouse a cookie, and he'll want a glass of milk. I cannot give myself leeway, at least not in the beginning. I have to be Nazi militant in my dedication. Holy Balls Of Headache!!! I wake up with a screamer and my husband is making a huge pot of coffee. "Have a cup", he smirks, "it aint gonna kill you." Fahk. My brain grows an arm and before I realize what has happened, there is a cup of coffee in my hand. I use almond milk and 1 splenda, it tastes like CRAP. So I drink half and dump the rest. Take Advil. Eat my 1/4 cup oats with almonds and raisins. Banana at 9am. Lunch is 3 oz chicken, polenta, black beans, avocado, red pepper and lettuce. Stuffed. 1/4 cup raisins at 2pm with 2 oz chicken. My head is still not good. And I itch. Why? No clue. Making a gluten-free meatloaf and kale salad for dinner. I hate this part. De-tox makes me all kinds of evil. Gah.

Day 1ish. Made the decision.

It's not really Day 1, it's more like Day -1. I feel like crap and it has to change. I haven't had a run in ages. I'm irritated both inside and out. Self-examination leads me to believe that food is causing the big part of my problem. Stupid, simple, nasty, beautiful, delicious food. Dammit. So, do something about it dummy. Ok, I will. (Shit) Just like any addiction, it will definitely have to managed one day at a time because I'm sitting here thinking about next summers cruise. Ummmmmm. Yeah, a cruise with its endless buffets. Crap. Okay, so no prob...I can do this. I'm so not ruled by food! (shit)
I've been researching, online. Oh, you bet. I've been considering options and making a plan. Because leaving out pretty much ALL tastiness (such as wheat, dairy, soy, sugar...etc etc) makes food taste like a limp piece of cardboard. Hence, the blog. Accountability. Weigh, measure, examine data. All very scientific. Here's hoping it works.