Day 3. The first week of any change is always the hardest. I have re-framed what will be "acceptable" because the other plan was going to be a big, fat failure. Finding foods that are within the "limits" ( no wheat gluten and no dairy in any form) are pretty much the guns I'm sticking to for now. I added back my one cup of coffee in the morning ( oh my jesus I HAD to) and whereas having absolutely NO sugar or salt for the rest of my life sounds great in theory, it just won't work. Sooooo, I'm doing what I gotta do. I know that my biggest problems are my addiction to wheat and the terrible intolerance I have for lactose....and by cutting off those chickens heads, eventually the animal dies and I no longer crave. Yay me. It's not quitting that is the bitch, it's the staying quitted. Hehe, the daily 'seeing' and 'coveting' and 'ohmygawdthatlooksahmayzing'. Emotional shit too cause I will eat a feeling in a nanosecond fee sure. Here's my eating for the day.

7:30 am - Tall blonde soy mist with 2 splenda ( on the way to get my son)
8:40 am - Creamy brown rice farina with almonds and raisins (new food....tasted like ass)
Noon - Broiled squash, eggplant, peppers in grape seed oil and herbs with 2 oz chicken
2:00 pm - A few cold broiled veg
5:00 pm - Mexican. ( small amount of polenta, beans, homemade salsa and kale/lettuce)

I also experimented with brownies today. Made 2 batches of black bean brownies. Not bad. Had one. And just now 7:02 ate 1/4 cup raisins.

I'm not counting calories anymore. I inherently know how much each thing is worth. I'm looking to feel better, not drop weight. I might have another brownie later. lol.

Day 1. And I've already backslid on the high ideal that I wanted to uphold. I really need to relax a little. But I know ME. Give a mouse a cookie, and he'll want a glass of milk. I cannot give myself leeway, at least not in the beginning. I have to be Nazi militant in my dedication. Holy Balls Of Headache!!! I wake up with a screamer and my husband is making a huge pot of coffee. "Have a cup", he smirks, "it aint gonna kill you." Fahk. My brain grows an arm and before I realize what has happened, there is a cup of coffee in my hand. I use almond milk and 1 splenda, it tastes like CRAP. So I drink half and dump the rest. Take Advil. Eat my 1/4 cup oats with almonds and raisins. Banana at 9am. Lunch is 3 oz chicken, polenta, black beans, avocado, red pepper and lettuce. Stuffed. 1/4 cup raisins at 2pm with 2 oz chicken. My head is still not good. And I itch. Why? No clue. Making a gluten-free meatloaf and kale salad for dinner. I hate this part. De-tox makes me all kinds of evil. Gah.

Day 1ish. Made the decision.

It's not really Day 1, it's more like Day -1. I feel like crap and it has to change. I haven't had a run in ages. I'm irritated both inside and out. Self-examination leads me to believe that food is causing the big part of my problem. Stupid, simple, nasty, beautiful, delicious food. Dammit. So, do something about it dummy. Ok, I will. (Shit) Just like any addiction, it will definitely have to managed one day at a time because I'm sitting here thinking about next summers cruise. Ummmmmm. Yeah, a cruise with its endless buffets. Crap. Okay, so no prob...I can do this. I'm so not ruled by food! (shit)
I've been researching, online. Oh, you bet. I've been considering options and making a plan. Because leaving out pretty much ALL tastiness (such as wheat, dairy, soy, sugar...etc etc) makes food taste like a limp piece of cardboard. Hence, the blog. Accountability. Weigh, measure, examine data. All very scientific. Here's hoping it works.

I swear, I totally meant to blog this past month...

Well, it seems I will not be blogging as much as I had planned. The classes I am taking are managing to eat every second that isnt filled with childcare or sleeping. I'm stressed. Gah. So I only dropped by to let yall know, I may not be back for awhile. Sorry. I gotta prioritize yaknow. tata.