Conflict and Something Sinks In.

Weight: 161

Ate: 3 bacon, 1/2 Kashi waffle, sunflower seeds, 1/2 veggie wrap.  Thats it so far and its almost 4pm. 

While at Subway with the family I ask Joe to get Avery some cookies (Avery lives on 4 foods basically so if I can get a cookie in him, its a good day).  Joe comes back with 6.  Well, last night we had this huge discussion about his weight and how crappy he was feeling and how he was going to CUT OUT bad foods ie: sweets.  He eats 2 of the cookies and after Avery is done with his, he eats the leftovers.  I'm disappointed and just sit there disgusted. He gets mad, I get mad....yada yada yada.  The car is silent on the way home.  He talks a big game but I dont think he's going to change until he has a massive heart attack.  I'm not mentioning it again.....ever. His BMI is around 37 and climbing. Just out of curiousity I logged all his food on Fitday just to see how much he was eating.  At 3pm he already had 2351 calories, 123g Fat, 268 carbs and 78g protein.  Add in dinner and his late-night feeding before bed and he'll be up to at least 3,000.  I forgot beer too. I dont know whether or not he'll be drinking later so it could go way over 3K.

I have 2 pairs of 14's (which are pretty loose) and 1 pair of 12's (which I wear almost every day now).  I'm going to buy a pair of 10's......I cant believe I'm even SAYING that.  I AM going to BUY a pair of size 10'S for ....MYSELF???? Holy crap. I might have worn a 10 in Middle school, maybe.  I cant fathom it. The funny thing is I still feel like I'm big.  It takes me a minute to realize I CAN cross my legs (and not at the ankle like I used to) actually I can cross my legs UNDER most tables now. DAMN. I only have 21 more pounds till I'm at goal.  That puts me in the normal catagory, no more overweight.  Wow.

Ok, well, I have to run. Tata.