Trip to Minnesota
I cant remember where this was. Honestly, I thought of writing notes but was way too lazy (uh, only I could be LAZY sitting in the car.) I drove a few hours then he drove a few, it worked fairly well.
The capital of some city.
Ok, well, I tried to upload a bunch more but the stupid site wont accept them. I'll have to tweek them and try again later.
Day 1 started early. We loaded the car and when it came time to load the dogs (yes, we are insane) Molly (the new dog) would NOT stop whining and freaking out. We had to put the kennel in the back seat for her because she went into heat the night before (not fixed, at friggin 9 years old, not fixed, ugh) As we started down the gravel driveway, dog mewling, kids complaining, my teeth gritted and Joe's brow furrowed.....suddenly he says Why dont we board the dogs?....not so much of a question as a statement. We back up and at 6:45 am he goes in the house and retreives the phone book. Thankfully our vet opens for boarding at 7:00 am. Fast forward. We dont get on the road until about 8:30. The drive is dull and uneventful, we stop a few times for this and that. Its getting late and I'm driving and oh man do I want to stop for the night but Joe is all about the milage. We cant stop until we get to "whereever" I cant even remember but he was determined to reach this spot before we stopped, even if its midnight. Uh, kids. I, of course, have to think of them because well, he doesnt. They'd be chattering skeletons fused to the back seat in a pool of their own filth if their father was allowed to decide food, bathroom scheduling. I look over at him and give him the hairy eyeball. Ok, fine, pull into the next stop. Thank goodness. The roach motel we stayed at was across the street from a Ponderosa (it was EWWWW and way too expensive) We slept badly on beds that were NOT meant for humans. Day 2 was the exact same except around Noon we encountered SNOW, alot of snow. It didnt stick until we got past Chicago. We arrived in Minn. about 3 pm and checked in to our hotel (which is right next door to TARGET (woohoo)) I immediately ditched the kids and went shopping (cmon, its TAR-GET dammit) AND THERES A STARBUCKS INSIDE OF IT! OMG! Nirvana for me my friends. Expresso AND shopping. I can die now. I had to find something to wear to the funeral so I tried on some clothes and ended up with a pair of nice black dress pants and a white cable knit sweater. It looks ok, very plain but nice. Got the kids both black and white as well, the whole lot cost me about 75 bucks, Joe would shit a kitten if I told him. Men just dont get it, clothes cost money. Ok, so here I sit, in my mother in laws dining room, people schooling back and forth through the house. There are cousins and friends and sisters and brothers and other in laws and their children. Pizza is being ordered and tv is being watched. Its odd for me to be here, I hadnt spent much time being here....KNOWing these people who are connected to me through my marraige. Its my fault too. I could have been more available, could have put myself more out there and been more receptive. I have guilt. For mean things said in the past, maybe not being as tolerant or understanding of other people as I should have been. I dont mean all of them, I mean her, my mother in law. We had friction and I think most of it stemmed from our differences, our gap. Now that she's gone I dont get a chance to mend that relationship. During the last year of her life I think we communicated MORE but maybe not better. She and I spoke often when she was first diagnosed and I think she found comfort in those calls, at least I hope she did. I tried my best to be supportive, encouraging and sincere. The last time we spoke, which was a few days before her death, I felt sad and awkward not knowing what to say. Three of her children were at her side when she passed and said that she showed no fear, more like relief. I'm glad of that and that her suffering is over.
The funeral is Saturday.
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