He hath returned

Child #1, happy for some reason at 5:30 am

So Joe gets home about 3:30pm yesterday.  He looks awful and complains that he thinks he has a bladder infection. Well before he left he had complained that he was having trouble peeing. Hmmmm, a connection maybe?  (Uh, I know there is but he's not quite as quick as I am) So I tell him, You HAVE to go to the doctor this morning, whether you want to or not because if you let this go it will only get worse. Reluctantly he goes this morning. Let's hope they dont give him Tylenol and send him home.

So I recieved a new animal, Molly. Joe brought his Mom's 10 year old Toy Poodle back with him.  She's very puffy and desperately needs a shave, which she's going to get today. I bought her a new collar and a new tag last night. I also got her a sheepskin bed for in her kennel like the one Sweetie has. It was a very rough night last night. She whined and yelped for hours so Joe dragged the kennel into our room and she seemed to settle down.  Sweetie is very upset about this whole situation and the nipping started as soon as Molly hit the floor. It will take time but I think they'll tolerate each other eventually.

A face only a mother could love. I'll put up a post-grooming picture, there should be a huge difference.

I wasnt going to post this picture of me. I look fat. My buldgy arm and my not-so-small waist and my gigantic thighs. I know, I'm being critical but I'm also being honest. Its how I feel. My hair is so thin and lifeless that I can hardly keep it in an alligator clip anymore.

Bah, more later.

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Um

Well, I was going to upload some new pics but my computer is having somekind of hissy fit and wont let me. I'm expecting Joe home in a few hours, he called me at 6 am from Kentucky. I just remembered, I have to make a phone call. Back later.

Another one bites the dust!

Child #2 lost another pound, YAY! 103 lbs. Very happy, jumping up and down. She was sure the scale would not move.

Me, on the other hand, up a pound. Pfffffftttthhhhhh!

B: Ate 1 piece Ezekial toast with PB, 1/2 grapefruit

S: (biggish snack) Lean Cuisine Turkey/veg.

L: 1/2 turkey/tomato sandwich

S: 15 Lime Tostitos

D: Salad bar

 

More whining.

How come I'm not losing weight? I've been hovering at between 139 and 143 for ....well....a long damn time now.  I'm beginning to think this is where my body is going to stop. And well I dont think I like that. I eat pretty well and I work out like 5-6 days a week. What the hell? 

Wake up: 1 bottle lemon water

11am: 5  oz tuna with Miracle whip and relish, 1 leaf lettuce, 1 piece tomato, 4 crackers

Water

12:30 pm: 1 fresco soft taco

1pm: 1/3 med. bag plain popcorn

Water

3:30 pm: Eggroll with rice

6pm: chicken/shrimp steamer dinner

8pm: 1 cup Cinnamon Harvest cereal dry

Water

1173 calories  59 g protein

That isnt a "typical" day. It was Sunday and I was hangin with the kids so I ate more often than I usually would during the week. Even so, not too terrible. I dunno what to do other than cut out a meal or double my workouts and I hate to do either.

Crappy movies suck.

I made a deal with Child #2. We clean the house in the morning and if it's to my liking then we'll go to a movie. Yep, we saw Jumper. Not exactly a winner. In fact I found this movie disjointed and downright stupid at times. Sam Jackson is the bad guy (with a very short powdered wig on? WTF? Cmon, white hair on Sam Jackson just looks STOOPID) Anyway, the popcorn was good and thankfully it was only 90 min long.

We shopped alittle and I bought (I never buy these things) a Lean Cuisine Vegetable Eggroll lunch thing.

I was curious....and hungry. So I get it home and cook it up.  The eggroll does not look appetizing, its wet and sad looking as it sits on the bed of white rice with little bits of peas and carrots in it.  The ginger sauce (loaded with sugar) is pooled at one end. Ok, so I'll give it a shot. I cut up the whole thing and mix it together. I cant say it was terrible. I mean I've had sooooo much worse. Would I buy it again? Maybe.

We didnt work out today, my fault. I just didnt feel like it. We will definately go tomorrow, scouts honor, hehe.

Sat.

10:40 am

I dropped off Child #2 this morning for her IB testing and she told me "Dont come back till 12:30 Mom, you're just making me crazy." Huh. Crazy? Me? Nahhhh. I was gonna stay but she gave me the bums rush and well, I had Avery with me and I was sure he didnt want to sit in an empty cafeteria for 4.5 hours. So, I came home. Good thing is, I got my Art essay finished. I should do some Stats just to get ahead but I'm afraid my brain just announced that I should feel lucky that it allowed me to get the Art paper done. HA!

I read other blogs (duh) and this post ( Big Girl in a Big City: Responding to "This is My Confession") could have been written by me. Its so true and even now my relationship with food is hard. Read it, it is truely insiteful and real.

6:14 pm

Picked up Child #2 at 12:30.  I had planned to take them to the gym and get in some good old working out to pass the time. She looks at me and says "Mom I want a purse." Those big doe-eyes, her soft innocent smile and to seal the deal she reaches over and brushes a hair out of my face.  DAMN. Uh, okay. What kind of purse do you want? Without hesitation she says "Let's go to the Hallmark store." I know exactly the purses she's thinking of and I don't wanna just scream NO (which is my first response). So I say nothing and we go to the mall. We find the "right size" Vera Wang purse in the Hallmark store and she looks at the tag. SHRIEK! That was her and I both. THIRTY BUCKS. HA! I turned to her and said "I love you honey but you are 10." She understood and we left.  We hit every store in the mall and found nothing until we hit the last store on the way out. Aeropostal. Big boxes line the back of the store, its a sale. Ooooooo......a purse box, what luck!  Sure enough she finds one she likes, right color, right size! $3.99!!! My kind of purse! SOLD! She's happy, I'm happy, we leave the mall. We work out, hit Wal-Mart for some chicken and haul it home. Dinner was made in those Zip-Lok steam bags (LOVE THEM!) took me 8 minutes to make chicken and peppers in one and 4 minutes for the zuke and squash in the other. MAGIC! I decided against chicken since at the mall I indulged ( 4 Chick-Fil-A nuggets and 5 waffle fries which HURRRRRT for about 45 minutes, stupid chicken.) Had a bean burrito with avacado, salsa and lettuce.

Joe called me today andI can tell he's stressed because of his Mom.  She is declining quickly and he realizes what is coming. He's leaving on Monday and should be home by Tuesday.

My face has broken out this last week. I thought it was related to my period but I dont think so now.  I had bad acne before the surgery and it completely cleared up after. I guess it was a pipe dream that it would stay clear forever. My hair continues to fall out but I'm noticing new growth on top, little prickles about an inch long that stick straight up. Everyday is a struggle because I want to cut it all off so bad, its thin and looks aweful. Anyway, I gotta run. Tata.

Weather?

WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY!!!

OK, so last night the weather people went on and on about how damn cold it was gonna be today and how much snow and ice there would be. In fact some schools issued their closing announcements even BEFORE the weather got here. I swear I hate this area. So this morning I wake up 5:50am as usual and jump outta bed to see whats on the ground. Nuthin. Nada. Nil. No snow, not even a heavy frost. Yay. Turn on the tv and HOLY CRAP, just about every school within 4 counties has closed or is on a 2 hour delay! WTF? There is NO weather people, none. Anyway, my kids still have regular school, thank dog.

Anyhow, I'm off to shower and move my bootie! Tata.

Thursday

Seed

Last aired: Tuesday, Feb. 19 at 03:25 PM EST

User Rating Your Rating

2000 | 79 min. | Director: Bobby Sheehan | TV14
A man finds himself filled with questions when he learns that his time is drawing to a close in this semi-improvised drama. Francis Seed (John Michael Bolger) has just been told that he is seriously ill and does not have long to live. Emotionally shattered, Seed begins to drift, contemplating the mess that he's made of his life and trying to figure out what it all means. Seed takes to stopping strangers at random and asking them to discuss the meaning of life, running the gamut from housewives, religious leaders, and jazz musicians to alcoholic street people and sex workers. Seed's aimless travels eventually take him to the ocean, where he dives into the water and allows fate to take its course. The directorial debut for director and cameraman Bobby Sheehan, Seed was well received in its screening at the 2000 L.A. Independent Film Festival.

 

I watched this the other day and loved it. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes to think about life and what it means.

 

Taking Child #2 to Mechanicsville today for an ECG and MRI. She has been having Absence Seizures for almost a year. They've been happening more often lately so they wanna look at her brain and maybe put her on some meds. I'll let you know.

 

Eating has been ok. Yesterday I only had 1 Detour bar until lunch and then we had salad bar and last night I had tuna. Not a bad day.

Blurb

36-30-39

Those are my measurements today. The 36 seems big because I've shrunk to an A cup so my chest looks smaller than it is. I can comfortably wear Child #2's shirts, HA! Oh and tonight, just for chuckles, I tried on her pants as well. THEY FIT! Her 14 1/2's fit me perfectly.....which pissed her off but I was crazy happy! I'm still not happy about the 39 and hope I can get another 3 inches off.  It should come with time and lots of working out.

Here's what I ate today, coming up on 8 months out from surgery:

Breakfast: 3 egg whites scrambled, 3 pieces bacon, 1 TBsp Polaner Strawberry jam all wrapped in a Carb-Smart tortilla. (Didnt eat it all)

Snack: 6 peanut butter crackers

Lunch: Ukropts salad bar ( spinach, corn, cuke, tomato, brocolli, cauliflower, nuts, turkey bits, fat free dressing)

Snack: chips and salsa

Dinner: Healthy Choice veggie soup with Ezekial bread

Not too bad today.  I'm a carb junkie as you can tell.  I didnt work out today so I feel guilty but will make up for it tomorrow.

Ok, well, Biggest Loser is on in 20 minutes so I gotta run! Tata.

Sunday

So it's Sunday and I have a hell of a week ahead of me.  Joe leaves for Minn. tomorrow morning, which is a holiday for the kids so NO SCHOOL, and yet I still have class.  I also have to make up my Stats test tomorrow with kids-in-tow, I'm sure my Prof. will be thrilled at that. 

Went to the doc Friday for my bum ankle.  Nine years ago I developed Erythema Nodozum in both shins, this is a soft tissue inflammation that is very painful. Well, she thinks it is the same thing in my ankle. Funny thing is, this condition is pretty much only seen in TB patients and I dont have TB. Hmmmmm.  She did X-rays and bloodwork and is referring me out to a specialist. I'll let you know what happens.

I met my 140 lbs goal yesterday.  I'm wearing a size 6 bottoms and a small or med. top.  Astounding. My hair is still falling out though, the doc said it should stop soon. I hate soon, its so indefinate.

Well, thats it for now.

Took this at 6:30 am on Friday.

Taken this morning.

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Snow Day.

I woke up very early this morning....actually Joe pushed me out of bed......to study.  I had a very important Stats test today and wanted to get in some last minute cramming. Walking out to the kitchen I notice that it sure is bright out for 4:45 in the morning.  Looking closer I see.....crap.....its snow. I turn on the tv and so far, no school closings.  By 6:45 there was a 2 hour delay and by 7:30 they decided to just close them altogether. There will be no snow left by 10 am and its getting up to 45 today. I hate the country, I swear they close school for rain sometimes, it sucks. Soooooooo, what about MY school you ask??? I'm basically shit outta luck.  I e-mailed my profs, begging forgivness. Hopefully my Stats teacher will understand and let me test next week.

 

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Surprise! Aunt Flo sneaks up on me.

Deer in headlights.

Hey ya'll!  The past 3 days I've been pre-occupied and having very bad eating days.  Lets have a look shall we?  I've been CRAVING tomatoes (i know, weird) and anything mexican. So, I've been stuffing myself (grazing) all day with crunchy little carbs loaded with salsa.  Made myself sick a few times (not swooshing or dumping, just stoopid overeating) Then in a culmination of the stoopidity, yesterday I was alone in the house and ended up chewing up and spitting out 1. a handful of caramel popcorn 2. a package of cheese crackers 3. and finally.....1/2 a cup of chocolate chips.  Spit it all down the garbolator and washed my mouth out really good.  I know it sounds bad, I hate admitting that I do it but IT IS WHAT IT IS.  NOW I know why I did it.  Stay with me, its not over.  Took family to gym and felt like SHIT ( prolly because most of those things had dairy in them and you just cant wash every bit of it out of your mouth, no matter how diligently you try) Came home and took a nap. Woke up thinking of food (crunchycarbs anyone?) Then BOOM!, started my period. HA! I thought I was going crazy but NOPE, I'm sane...its just my stoopid body. So, this morning I had 1/2 a grapefruit and am drinking my water. I feel better. I'm back to planning my eating. Like today att 11 I'll have a nice salad with some protein which will hold me over till about 3.  I'll have 1/2 a Detour bar (always in my purse) and concentrate on water until dinner tonight.  A lunchpack of tuna with a few wheat crackers. Maybe a fruit for snack before bed. Ahhhhhhhhhhh, thats better. No working out today, I deserve a day off.

Just to clarify: I dont do the whole "chew and spit" on a daily basis. In fact I've prolly only done it 5 times since the surgery (i bet it was always just before Aunt Flo too!) I dont feel like its becoming a habit or that its detrimental to my physical health, its just embarrassing when I admit it. Nuff said.

9:28 pm

Click totals for charts!	Totals:	369	23g	73mg	1,605mg	86g	18g	9g	43g
% of your daily value		36.5%	34.92%	24.17%	66.88%	28.57%	n/a	n/a	85%
		Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein

I stuck to my plan (pretty much) and just LOOK at those totals! Awesome. I burned about 350 calories walking today so add that to my cal total. Went shopping while the family was at the gym, I tell you what, 150 bucks just doesnt buy much these days. The shitty thing about trying to feed everyone healthy food is that it costs a fortune. I really hate having only one income.  Anyway I have to hit the hay, my eyeballs are burning. Tata.

 

Bigfoot

Left ankle....ouchies.  Excuse the vericose vein action but my ankle has been like this for a month now.  It doesnt hurt all the time, only when I touch it, or hit it or when my socks are too tight.  So I guess I figured its time to see a professional. Bah.

I dumped AND swooshed today......oh boy, double play.  Swooshed on toast/egg white??? I dunno.  Later in the day decided to have SF jello with SF Cool Whip and within an hour I was shaking and wishing for death.  Ruined my day. Good thing is I definately hit my water total for the day.

Worked out today and really pushed my limits.  I can really tell the difference in my cardio, takes alot longer for me to get my heartrate up. I'm being to ........love?.......the gym.  Hehe.

Oh...almost forgot....lost another pound. Tata.

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Stoopid dairy products

Momma has Da Killa HeadAche! Eeeeeek! I think it was brought on by some dairy that must have been hidden in something.

Let me preface this next "rant" by saying something first.  I'm not "in trouble" or developing a "eating disorder", if I was I wouldnt be consuming the amount of food that I do OR track said food on a daily basis.  Its how I "feel" and nothing more so dont everyone panic and call Dr. Phil on me.

I'm standing in the bathroom last night after my shower and Joe comes in.  His new favorite thing to do is push on the bones that are protruding in places they never protruded before ie: collarbones, ribs, etc. I say "stop it" because frankly, it's beginning to annoy the shit out of me. He does it ALOT.  He gets in the shower and I stand there staring at my naked, deflated body.  Dont get me wrong, I'm happy to be thin.  I'm also nowhere near being "too thin" but maybe I am in my mind.  I turn sideways and seriously, I look skeletal.  It troubles me.  I've never seen myself this way and maybe I'm over-reacting.  I can wear a size Medium womens or a Girls 14/16 on top and and 8 (moving to a 6) on bottom.  That really isnt THAT small I guess.

Anyway, thats what was on my mind.

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This is MY life.

Recently I had to delete some not-so-nice comments from someone who will not be named.  I dont know what I did to garner such attention but please dont bother dropping by if you feel my site is "boring and self-absorbed".  I'm sorry you feel that way but this site is pretty much aimed at MY family and friends who live FAR away.  They enjoy watching my progress and reading about my kids.  I suggest you head back to surfing porno or chatting with your "friends" in chatrooms and quit annoying me. Thank you.

This morning my weight was 144.  I'll be hitting the gym after I get rid of Child #2......I mean after I drop her at school.  Class doesnt start till 11 am so I like to take advantage of ANY free time sans kids.  I'm still battling the "eating demon" and find my hands full of carbs everytime I drop my guard.  Tortilla chips, Pringles, and toast seem to be the recurring theme.  I'm going to buy some Spelt bread (supposed to be much better for me) and will no longer be keeping Pringles in the house (soooo tasty dammit) but I already buy whole wheat tortilla chips so I dont think I can improve anything there.  Also the peanut butter we've been using is causing a huge amount of uh.....off-gassing.  Its full of FLAX, nuff said huh?.  I may try another type of peanut butter, it will be appreciated by every nose in the house. HA! Foodwise I feel trapped alot of the time.  I am on the road ALOT so I've found foods that I can pick up on the go.  They arent BAD foods but I spend way too much on the convenience.  A bean burrito at Taco Bell, A Cobb salad at Wawa, a Mandarine Salad at Wendys, A Veggie wrap at Subway.  Not BAD foods at all but I need to get away from doing it so much. Problem is, there is so much I CANT eat it makes the choices at home BORING. NO DAIRY at all. NONE. Check your labels, there is dairy in practically everything. I know, I check.  Some people say Oh just eat alot of meat.  Well, it sounds good in theory but my stomach doesnt accept MEAT most of the time.  Doesnt matter how much I chew it either or if its soaked in some kind of liquid, my stomach has a mind of its own.  And the ensuing PAIN, and I mean PAAAAAIIIIN is so severe and long-lasting that I am very gun-shy of the meats now. Will it change with time? Maybe, possibly but for now I'm limited.  I'm not bitching, dont get me wrong, this is the surgery I chose and I kinda knew this would be the deal.  Its hard to deal with mentally sometimes because you dont want it to define you anymore.  You just want to live and have eating be a secondary thought, but it never is.  Ho hum. So I eat my carbs, keep my sugar low and stay accountable for every crappy thing that goes in my mouth.  Once I know what goes in I can stay at the gym until I burn it all off.  It may not be the best way to do it but right now its working for me and I'm still losing weight (SLOWLY!HA!)

Wow, that was a rant huh? Anyway I need to eat ( 1 Double Fiber wheat toast with peanut butter, 2 egg whites) and then I'm off to the gym to spend 45 minutes on the Elliptical(#7 resistance, ouch!), 30 minutes on the treadmill(3.5 and a #3 incline) and maybe a few free-weights if I have time. Have a good one! Tata.

La la la la

Yet another singing function.  This one had a theme of "America".....thats right folks, 10 songs about America. Hardly anyone showed up, it was a seriously empty cafeteria. I shit you not, the guidance counselor dozed off, mouth hanging open....I tried to get a picture of her but the damn thing didnt turn out.

Power just went out, I guess thats my sign to go to bed. Thank dog my laptop has a battery backup! HA! Tata.

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Skating isn't for the ELDERLY.

 

  SkateLand

Child #2's school had a skating night and we all jumped in the car and toodled down (35 minute drive, of course).  She hadnt skated in probably 3 years and she fell many many times.  I hadnt skated in uh......lets say 22 years. HA! But once I got going I ROCKED it! I must say I winced alot watching some of the other parents and grandparents (STOOPID!) as they fell repeatedly.  Do these people not think "BROKEN HIP"????? One old guy wiped out and was subsequently run over by about 20 third graders before he could drag himself to safety. Good grief.

Child #1 and Joe didnt skate.  They preferred to watch the carnage from the sidelines.

Anyway, it was fun and we did it as a family so it was all good. Tata.

 

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New pics

Weight: 144

Finally alittle downward movement! Only 4 more pounds to goal.  I'm going to do another set of measurements, just out of curiosity, and post them this week.

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Its SO warm, I'm in heaven!

Child #2, eating her breakfast.  She's lost 5 pounds since Jan. 1. I'm so proud.

Not much new.  My weight remains the same, ho hum. 

10:39 pm

Click totals for charts!	Totals:	738	44g	77mg	2,589mg	190g	52g	33g	62g
% of your daily value		66.03%	67.2%	25.67%	107.88%	63.41%	n/a	n/a	124%
		Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein

Ok so I could have been better today in OH so many ways.  My calorie total seems low because Daily Plate subtracts the calories you have burned with exercise for the day.  I'm not doing a very good job at keeping my CARBs down am I?  Its my love of all things crunchy and bread-like, they are definately kicking my ass.  Uh that sugar total is wayyyyyyy wrong too, I would have been dumping ALL day if I ate that much sugar. Its prolly closer to 25g for the day. Sheesh.

It was 76 degrees here today, whacky. I would have worn something non-winterlike but I dont own anything.  I stole one of Child #2's tank tops (I know right!? I can wear a girls 14 ferchrissake!) and my jeans with flip flops and believe it or not I WAS FROZEN all friggin day. I had to turn on the HEAT when I got in my car after class. There is something seriously off kilter with my thermometer.

Ok, time to hit the old fartpad! Nite! tata.

New friends are GOOD!

Didnt work out yesterday or today.  Child #2 has a NEW friend and she ended up spending the whole day yesterday and then overnight.  I have to say, I LOVE these people so far.  Nice house, well-maintained, nice clean dogs, a Winnebago in the driveway and a hot tub.  They also have a huge playground and 3 nice cars that are not up on blocks.  I hate to sound snobby but YAY they have money.  The little girl is well-mannered and sweet and her mother is normal (has all her teeth) and is a nurse.  There is a 15 year old son who I did meet today and he seems normal as well.  I havent met the Dad yet but Child #2 claims he looks like a "motorcycle guy".  He must work alot because he was there for dinner and then left again.  I will definately be encouraging this relationship. There's one down side and its kinda minor. Theyre Catholic and took Child #2 to Sunday school this morning.  She can deal with it, she knows to just blend in.

I'm working on that English Lit paper.....slowly. Ugh.

Well, time to go. Tata.

Damn stomach

Yesterday was a horrific day food-wise.  After swooshing on my lunch (an hour of sleep cured it) I felt nauseous and yet....hungry. I didnt want to eat but my body kept sending me mixed signals so I ate.  Had about half a mandarin chicken salad, it wasnt happy but it stayed.  This may be because I didnt get enough water yesterday or it could just be the GBS being a bitch.  So this morning I'm pushing the water and will only do a Protein bar for breakfast.  I've been so tempted by empty carbs and I have to get a stranglehold on that urge.  A trip to the gym before school today should make me feel better.

School is going ok, I'm managing to keep up and my grades have been good.  I met with my advisor yesterday and we figured I only need 11 more credits to graduate with my AS.  That means I'll be done, at this school, this coming December but I won't be able to WALK until May 09.  Thats ok, as long as I have the diploma, I'm good. I'll apply for whichever university I decide on by the end of summer.

Ok, time to get moving. Tata.

9:17 pm

This is an exerpt from another blog I read daily. Melting Mama. She had GBS a few years ago. She's funny as hell, you should read her too!

2008.01.31

Bill proposed in Mississippi: To "prohibit from serving food to any person who is obese."

Somehow, I don't think this is going to go well:

Mississippi Legislature
2008 Regular Session House Bill  282

Description:  Food establishments; prohibit from serving food to any person who is obese.

Background Information:
   Disposition:    Active
   Deadline:   General Bill/Constitutional Amendment
   Revenue:   No
   Vote type required:   Majority
   Effective date:   July 1, 2008

History of Actions:
   1   01/25 (H) Referred To Public Health and Human Services;Judiciary B

----- Additional Information -----

House Committee:  Public Health and Human Services*, Judiciary B

Principal Author:  Mayhall
Additional Authors:  Read, Shows

Title: AN ACT TO PROHIBIT CERTAIN FOOD ESTABLISHMENTS FROM SERVING FOOD TO ANY PERSON WHO IS OBESE, BASED ON CRITERIA PRESCRIBED BY THE STATE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH; TO DIRECT THE DEPARTMENT TO PREPARE WRITTEN MATERIALS THAT DESCRIBE AND EXPLAIN THE CRITERIA FOR DETERMINING WHETHER A PERSON IS OBESE AND TO PROVIDE THOSE MATERIALS TO THE FOOD ESTABLISHMENTS; TO DIRECT THE DEPARTMENT TO MONITOR THE FOOD ESTABLISHMENTS FOR COMPLIANCE WITH THE PROVISIONS OF THIS ACT; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES.